…

I went home this weekend. it was a nice change. sometimes I like being there, often not so much.

my parents were all concerned about me because my hand was in a cast and all fucked up. sometimes I like having people pity me.

I spent a lot of time at my sister’s house because both of my parents have become mostly permanent fixtures since Ava’s been sick.

on Sunday, I went to my grandmother’s house. I took Isabella with me, and we walked. it was only a 3 block walk, at most, but Isabella wasn’t having it. every time she got sick of walking, she dropped down to her knees, and I had to cajole her into getting up and walking again. because the sidewalks were really uneven, I had to keep telling her to step up, and every time I said step, she repeated it. it was so cute.

when I was holding Baby Ava before I left to drive back to philly, I told her that I lived her a lot. I told her that I believed in her, and I knew she was going to get better. I was pretty much bawling my eyes out the entire time I was talking to her.

on Monday, I had a doctor’s appointment in south jersey to get medical clearance for Bancroft. I had to get a tuberculosis test, and it was fairly uncomfortable. OH! apparently I have scoliosis, and no doctor I’ve ever seen noticed this. I mean, my spine is only slightly curved, but that seems like it’s sort of a big deal. anyway, the doctor said it shouldn’t be a big deal considering I’m done growing, so it shouldn’t get worse.

on the way home I called my mom to tell her that everything went okay. she was glad that everything was getting situated, but then she had bad news to tell me. Ava had a doctor’s appointment at the hospital to get her feeding tube changed (it can’t stay in for more than 4 days) and to get weighed to see how she’s progressing, if at all. during the appointment, she stopped breathing completely again, and she was taken to the ICU. after she was somewhat stable, they life-flighted her back to Geisinger. so now she’s back in the same boat. her white cell count spiked back up to 88,000 after only being around 34,000 on Saturday (normal white cell counts should be between 10-20,000). hopefully, it’s just a matter of time before she gets better.