I <3 pokemon.

this is me getting back to disclosures and avoiding the undying urge to just make emo posts about how everything dies in the end anyway so this whole world is pointless and nothing makes sense to me because I don’t understand how someone could try so hard for something and then just get shit on in the end anyway:

whenever I don’t know how to act or feel in a situation (99.9% of the time), I mimic what others around me are doing, and I also mimic their emotions.

anyway, the title of this blog is I <3 pokemon because whenever I remember this fact about myself, I think about Ditto. you know, that pokemon that just basically copies its enemies’ methods of attack? okay, so maybe you’re not as lame as I am, but whatever. this is all irrelevant.

getting back to the point… whenever I’m thrown into a situation that makes me completely uncomfortable, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to act, I just mimic what’s going on around me. for example, if people are joking around, I joke around with them. a lot of this has to do with my AS, but if I’ve never given you permission to do so, DON’T EVER blame something on my AS. it makes me feel really awkward when people assume that what I do has to do with AS. anyway, I don’t know why people assume certain traits are attributed to that fact because if they aren’t, then you’re basically just telling me that that particular trait is retarded (or some other politically correct equivalence).

also, since it’s very hard for my brain to make(?) emotions on its own, I find myself just mimicking the emotions of those who surround me. which is why I get really frustrated when everyone around me is frustrated. on the same note, I get really happy when people around me are happy.

but also, sometimes, my AS affects me so much that I don’t even have the capability to mimic what’s going on around me and pretend that I’m normal okay. that’s when I get extremely quiet and reserved and don’t talk to anybody.

true story.